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      Кто в семье авторитет?

      Воспитание • Отношение

      Авторитет родителей – важная составляющая воспитания ребёнка, однако приобретение этого авторитета – кропотливый труд со стороны родителей. Каждая мама хочет, чтобы ребёнок ею гордился, а окружающие называли её “хорошей матерью”. Каждый отец хочет быть примером и опорой для своих детей. Однако добиваются они этого, порой, совершенно неверными способами. Поговорим о пяти нездоровых моделей семейного воспитания.

      Авторитет любви

      Родители в таких семьях захваливают ребенка, трепетно оберегая от любых трудностей. Обстановка изнеженности, преклонения и угождения наряду с постоянной тревогой за жизнь и здоровье малыша способствует превращению милого наивного ребёнка в эгоиста. Именно такие дети боятся самостоятельных шагов, нуждаются в постоянной опоре родителей и похвале от всех окружающих. При этом такие нежные взрослые совершенно не считаются с мнением и интересами других людей, ведь в детстве их родители из кожи вон лезли, лишь бы деточке было хорошо.

      Авторитет доброты

      В семьях такого типа родители разрешают и прощают ребенку все. Обозвал соседку толстухой – не со зла, пнул собачку во дворе – он же маленький, требует кучу конфет в магазине – пожалуйста, хочет дорогущего робота – возьмём в кредит… Малыш быстро привыкает к тому, что все его прихоти капризы быстро выполняются и начинает манипулировать родителями: упрямиться, командовать, требовать, злиться и закатывать истерики. В итоге вырастает избалованный взрослый, предъявляющий непомерные претензии миру, но мало дающий обществу и семье.

      Авторитет подавления

      Чаще всего в подобной семье отец, дедушка или бабушка регулярно демонстрируют свою силу и значимость, стараясь удержать место лидера. При непослушании они раздражаются, кричат, часто наказывают ребенка за его собственное мнение и действие. В результате малыш боится любого шороха, не знает, что можно, а что нельзя, поэтому старается не делать лишних движений без указки главы семьи. Естественно, такой ребенок вырастает безвольным, замкнутым и забитым. Это если повезёт. В противном случае, он превратится в деспота и сам начнёт третировать вас и свою новую семью.

      Авторитет подкупа

      Очень частое поведение родителей, психологически неготовых к воспитанию ребёнка: хорошие оценки, спокойное поведение и послушание мамы и папы покупают у малыша с помощью подарков и бесконечных обещаний. “Будешь себя хорошо вести, тогда куплю ту машинку”, “принесёшь пятёрку за тест, заведём собаку”, “съешь котлету, сможешь смотреть мультики весь вечер” – вот, что часто слышится в разговоре матери с ребенком. В таких семьях растёт ребёнок-манипулятор, точно знающий, что ему выгодно делать, а что нет, и умеющий из всего извлечь пользу.

      Авторитет педантизма

      Один из редких, но всё же существующих видов авторитета в семье, когда родители ведут себя подчёркнуто сухо по отношению к ребёнку.и в любой момент могут прочитать нудные нотации учительским тоном. Никто здесь не считается с мнением малыша — он маленький, а маме известно всё лучше. Ребёнку остаётся только подчиняться и ходить по струнке, либо истерично протестовать. И то и другое, как вы понимаете, подавляет его волю и впоследствии превращает в несамостоятельного, безынициативного взрослого с трудным характером.

      А как же быть?

      Для того, чтобы малыш рос в уважении и любви достаточно соблюдать ряд простых рекомендаций:

      1. Никто из родителей не должен подвергать сомнению авторитет друг друга. Папа и мама одинаково важны и, конечно, одинаково любят своего ребёнка.
      2. У взрослых не должны слова расходиться с делом. Если вы что-то пообещали, то вам придётся это сделать, если вы один раз отказали — будьте тверды.
      3. Относитесь с уважением к проблемам своих детей. Порез пальчика, драка с другом и страдания Лунтика – это одинаково сложные проблемы для малыша.
      4. Проводите больше времени всей семьёй, играйте в настольные игры, устраивайте свои маленькие семейные ритуалы, читайте книги вслух и т.д.
      5. Проявлять терпение и отвечайте на все вопросы детей, не отмахиваясь фразой “что за ерунда тебе лезет в голову!”.
      6. Умейте признать свою неправоту и извиниться перед ребёнком.

      Попробуйте, у вас получится!

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      280. Q:

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        i dont know how to explain my problem, so ill try to show it with an example.
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      281. Although there are several shortcuts for most common operations, the application still supports the full keyboard, making it ideal for those that want to live on the edge and change things their own way.
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